For this blog entry I decided to focus on stay-at-home mothers. I decided to interview my sister and my sister-in-law since they both have children and are in two different situations. My sister is a stay-at-home mother of two and my sister-in-law is a working mother of one.
Here are the the questions I asked them, along with their responses:
Allison (SAHM, mother of two):
Q1. What do you find the most difficult in being a stay-at-home mom?
A: The hardest part is finding time for myself. My days are consumed with the kids and making them happy, i wouldn't have it any other way. It just gets tough sometimes because I can't run an errands, exercise, etc or do many things for myself.
Q2. Do you face unwanted stigma for not working?
A: I don't face that stigma. I feel very fortunate that I'm able to be home with my kids and that I'm able to watch them learn and grow each day.
Q3. Why did you choose to be a SAHM?
A:I chose to be a stay at home mom because there is nothing more important to me than my children. I knew early on that once I had kids I wanted to be home with them.
Q4. What do you do for adult interaction and “me” time?
A: Well this is the hardest part. I get out at night once in a while and have girl dinners and that helps. When it's nice out, going to the park helps too because you can interact w other adults and you aren't stuck at home. We also do a couple classes in which I can talk to other parents.
Q5. Do you truthfully enjoy being a SAHM? Do you wish you could have a job and have someone else watch them while you’re at work?
A: I truthfully love it! It is the most fulfilling job. Yes, we have some hard days but the fun and positive ones out weigh the bad. I would not want someone to watch them everyday because I love being with them!
Q6. Overall, do you enjoy your job as a SAHM?
A: Yes love it and wouldn't trade it for anything! We have so much fun together and it's a joy being with them everyday!
Lisa (working mother of one):
Q1. What do you find the most difficult in NOT being a stay-at-home mom?
A: Not having enough time to spend with my son is most difficult for me. During the work week, I only spend a few hours with him a day. It is very hard for me to be away from him. I also don’t get to do as many of the fun activities that I would like to do with him.
Q2. Do you face unwanted stigma for working instead of being at home with your son in his young years?
A: I don’t think that I face an unwanted stigma for working. I actually think that it is more common for women to work today than to stay at home. I am lucky that I have 4 close coworkers who are also working moms. It is important to have that support network at work.
Q3. Why did you choose to NOT be a SAHM and continue your job with lots of hours and dedication?
A: As a family, we want to provide the best opportunities for our son. This requires two salaries to live in a safe, family- friendly area with a great school system so that he can receive a good education and a happy childhood.
Q4. What do you do for adult interaction and “me” time?
A: For adult interaction, I am in a book club that meets once a month. Additionally, we try to make plans with friends for at least one night of the weekend nights when we aren’t visiting with family.
For me time, I work-out two days a week in the early morning. I also enjoy reading before going to bed.
Q5. Do you truthfully enjoy being not being a SAHM? Do you wish you could stay at home with him and go back to work when he gets older?
A: I do wish that I could stay home with him. It is very challenging for me to balance work and family.
Ideally, I think that it would be best for me to work part-time so that I have the challenge of working but also have more time to spend at home. Unfortunately, the nature of my job does not allow for a part-time position.
Q6. Overall, do you enjoy your job as a working mom?
A: Most days I do enjoy being a working mom. It is great to be challenged mentally at work. I am lucky that I have an interesting job at Elmer’s that has a lot of variety and that also has an impact on other moms and teachers. It helps to make the days pass quickly so that I don’t think as much about missing my son.
Because I am a working mom, my son attends school (I call it school because it makes me feel better than calling it day care). I think that he is receiving great benefits from going to school all day. He is interacting with kids all day, being exposed to art and music as well as concepts that are appropriate for his age. He is also learning how to share and to follow direction of other adults. Knowing that he is receiving all these benefits also makes it easier to be a working mom.
After reading both of the interviews, I found myself not surprised by their responses. Since I know both of them so well, I kind of knew what they were going to say. Allison had a job years back then she was laid off and never went back to work since. Years later she began having children. She is honestly the cookie-cutter definition of a stay-at-home mom. I truthfully couldn't even imagine what it would be like if she even had a job with her two children so close in age. I talk to her everyday whether its over texting, phone conversations or face-time and she is just in full on "mom mode." She manages to stay so calm when they are acting up. It's truly amazing to me how well she handles the situations she faces everyday. Her husband works unpredictable hours but is always home in the mornings and evenings to be the great father he is. I do see the toll it takes on her though. Overall, I really couldn't see her doing anything else. The bond she has with her children is an undeniable one. They completely adore her, probably because she's so unbelievably sweet and can barely raise her voice (that's from what I've seen, but she claims she'll yell at them sometimes). Allison is a perfect example of a stay-at-home mom and it shows the positive effects of staying at home with your children.
Switching over to Lisa, who works a high ranking job at Elmer's Glue with her husband (my brother) working at JP Morgan Chase, they have hectic work schedules. They are both gone all day while my nephew is at school. Lisa is an extremely smart woman with everything going for her, meaning that I don't think she could even be a SAHM. Elmer's really needs her and her maternity leave was long enough for them without her. Although I imagine it is extremely hard being away from your child all day, they definitely make up for it when they both get home. They both engage in activities with their son whenever they can to make up for the lost time. The affects of working two high-paying jobs really shows too. They live a very comfortable life and they get to take vacations quite often. Their son gets to go to a really nice Jewish daycare (school, as she calls it) where he gets to play with kids all day, do art projects and play music. It's also nice that he gets to travel at such a young age. As Lisa says, he receives certain benefits that assure her that it's okay that she's a busy working mom. She also states how she has a support system at work with other working moms, which I do believe is very important.
Through reading my sisters interviews, I compared it with one of the articles we read in class, "Regrets of a stay-at-home mom," by Katy Read. Although Read is discussing her job as a mother of current "almost-men," I still saw some comparison to that article and both my sisters stories, mainly Allison. Since my sister is unemployed (let go from her job years back), I wonder if she'll face the same problems Read faced. Read described her situation of spending the daylight hours with her kids instead of working, her "biggest handicap." Will my sister have a hard time finding a job once her boys reach the age of Reads children? Who knows how many jobs she'll actually have to apply to. Will she get to work at the same job level as she did before she got let go? Read notes that fewer mothers are taking the risk due to the difficulty in the job market these days and the pressure to perform adequately and simultaneously as a mother and a women in the work force. Read talks about how she still has mixed feelings about her choice to be a SAHM. She states how thankful she was that she got to witness so much of her sons' childhood. I feel as Allison agrees and Lisa wishes she could witness more of the childhood but has such an amazing job, she wouldn't want to mess up the chances with that, Although Read states she would tell other mothers not to stay home, I believe there are many mothers out there who would disagree.
Above is a link from the show The Doctors. They discuss being a stay-at-home mom vs. working moms.
"Regrets of a stay-at-home mom." By Katy Read
Jessica Singer
Switching over to Lisa, who works a high ranking job at Elmer's Glue with her husband (my brother) working at JP Morgan Chase, they have hectic work schedules. They are both gone all day while my nephew is at school. Lisa is an extremely smart woman with everything going for her, meaning that I don't think she could even be a SAHM. Elmer's really needs her and her maternity leave was long enough for them without her. Although I imagine it is extremely hard being away from your child all day, they definitely make up for it when they both get home. They both engage in activities with their son whenever they can to make up for the lost time. The affects of working two high-paying jobs really shows too. They live a very comfortable life and they get to take vacations quite often. Their son gets to go to a really nice Jewish daycare (school, as she calls it) where he gets to play with kids all day, do art projects and play music. It's also nice that he gets to travel at such a young age. As Lisa says, he receives certain benefits that assure her that it's okay that she's a busy working mom. She also states how she has a support system at work with other working moms, which I do believe is very important.
Through reading my sisters interviews, I compared it with one of the articles we read in class, "Regrets of a stay-at-home mom," by Katy Read. Although Read is discussing her job as a mother of current "almost-men," I still saw some comparison to that article and both my sisters stories, mainly Allison. Since my sister is unemployed (let go from her job years back), I wonder if she'll face the same problems Read faced. Read described her situation of spending the daylight hours with her kids instead of working, her "biggest handicap." Will my sister have a hard time finding a job once her boys reach the age of Reads children? Who knows how many jobs she'll actually have to apply to. Will she get to work at the same job level as she did before she got let go? Read notes that fewer mothers are taking the risk due to the difficulty in the job market these days and the pressure to perform adequately and simultaneously as a mother and a women in the work force. Read talks about how she still has mixed feelings about her choice to be a SAHM. She states how thankful she was that she got to witness so much of her sons' childhood. I feel as Allison agrees and Lisa wishes she could witness more of the childhood but has such an amazing job, she wouldn't want to mess up the chances with that, Although Read states she would tell other mothers not to stay home, I believe there are many mothers out there who would disagree.
Above is a link from the show The Doctors. They discuss being a stay-at-home mom vs. working moms.
"Regrets of a stay-at-home mom." By Katy Read
Jessica Singer
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