Office Moms

The “office mom” is not anything new. When we think of office moms we think of a woman who is usually older than most of her other colleagues, has been at the office longer and serves as a nurturing figure. She may plan office birthday celebrations, stash community Tylenol, tissues and cough drops in her desk. She keeps it a priority to remember colleague’s birthdays, colleagues’ children’s’ names, age and where they go to school. She may also know your spouse’s name and occupation. And if you do not have a spouse she knows that too. The role of the office mom goes above and beyond that of the usual “friend from work” relationship as she makes it a priority to be on a personal level with her colleagues. Whenever I hear the term office mom I think of Joan from Mad Men. However as the work place’s dynamics change and more women progress into higher positions new, labels emerge. Today’s office mom is the boss.

Women are sometimes compelled to be incredibly ambitious, aggressive and sometimes tyrannical to balance against the weak, emotional and nurturing stereotypical role that they are expected to fulfill. In Laura Sinberg’s The Office Mom she describes how some women don’t feel that it’s necessary to be overly aggressive anymore. So some women including those in manager positions are able to take on different roles.  She asks, “Is [ditching the stereotype of the imperious, tyrannical boss in favor of the nurturing ‘office mom’] a good thing?” She answers yes with examples of the benefits of being a feminine nurturing figure at work. But what does it really mean to be an office mom and why do we call them office moms.

She describes the office mom as wise, generous, personal and concerned with teamwork. The office mom serves a mentor, keeps communication lines open, may bring in baked goods and treats them like a family. Women report that the office mom strategy compels colleagues to work harder because they feel appreciated and thus they are more loyal to the office mom then they would be to an average manager. It is kind of refreshing to see that women in leader position don’t feel forced to be overly aggressive. This is indeed different from the stereotypical professional image of a woman who is cold, tyrannical and has an every-one-for-themselves attitude. But is it really ground breaking to find that people respond well to having a mentor figure in the office or being personally acquainted with people that they work with? No. Many offices have easygoing bosses who are easy to communicate with, serve as mentors and are obsessed with teamwork. So why is that if a women uses this strategy at work to increase productivity for instance her colleagues look to her as an “office mom”.

The real issue here is that women who are not being overtly aggressive are being referred to as mom figures. There needs to be a middle ground for women in the workplace. If a woman feels it necessary to be on a somewhat personal level with her colleagues for professional reasons but is not the classic ‘witch’ boss her coworkers should not think her of as a mom. Yes, moms are very influential figures in our lives that should be respected. But a woman should not have to be seen as a mother figure to receive respect. Just because a women is using a personable approach to running an office for instance does not mean she is functioning as a mother. Moreover, I have yet to hear the term “office dad.” Men who are in managerial positions who are easy going, approachable and are mentors are not referred to as “office dads” they are referred just simply as the boss. There needs to be a middle ground for women. I am not advocating for women to be less ambitious or aggressive in the professional realm of their lives but everyone has their own approach. Women need to be able to experiment with their own roles in higher ranking jobs and approaches to running stores, offices, entire businesses etc. without being labeled in ways that could possibly set them back.
Image: http://managementnews.ejobhost.com/whos-your-office-mom/2740/
-Corinne Mann